


You look at me and I want to catch on fire

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Alteration, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 11:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17303870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: Clint has more reasons than most to be mad at Coulson.





	You look at me and I want to catch on fire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spikedluv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spikedluv/gifts).



> Written as a Christmas present for the lovely spikedluv who gave the prompt “they can't take one more loss so they're getting out of the game”. Title from Always Remember Us This Way by Lady Gaga.

The explosion threw Coulson, Daisy and Mack to the ground and even as they rolled out of the way of the falling ceiling another explosion shattered all the windows, spreading glass around them like falling blossoms.

“Back-up...back-up would be good about now,” Coulson said into his radio, hoping that somebody was actually listening.

“What the hell was that?” Mack asked, scooting over to Daisy on his hands and knees and helping her stand before doing the same for Coulson.

“Did he blow himself up?” Daisy asked, looking around for the man they'd come to meet. She wiped at her cheek, smearing blood across it as she did so.

Coulson winced and pulled a hand sticky with blood from his thigh. “Let's hope so.” Mack looked over at him in surprise. “I don't want to meet the person who can do that from a distance,” he explained.

There was a low rumbling sound by the door and as they turned towards it a fireball shot through and came straight for them. They scattered in its wake, Daisy furiously rolling over to pat out her hair.

“Where the hell is that back-up?” Mack asked the room.

Coulson let out a deep breath. “I think we're on our...” An arrow planted itself with unerring precision right by Coulson's foot and he forgot how to breathe.

“Need some help, _boss?”_ a voice asked over the radio, dripping with sarcasm.

Coulson sighed but before he could work out what he wanted to say Clint was yelling at them to get down. None of them hesitated, flattening themselves to the ground as whoever was shooting at them threw down a further volley of fireballs, each one dispatched mid-air by an arrow with some sort of explosive charge of its own. It was rather like being stuck in the middle of a fireworks display.

“Coulson? Is that really Hawkeye?” Daisy asked as the explosions stopped and they were left with just the acrid smell of burning.

“Yes,” Coulson said. “Hawkeye, report?” There was no reply. “Hawkeye? Can you hear me?” Still silence.

The three of them started to stand up and look around, Coulson focusing most on the rafters and the dark recesses of the roof. The man who'd attacked them was lying face up on the ground but there was no sign of anyone else.

“Clint?” Coulson asked for one final time, but only silence echoed back.

* * * * *

“We're losing her,” Mack said, holding on as Coulson took another corner at a speed he didn't want to think about.

“I'm aware,” Coulson replied, slowing down almost imperceptibly to avoid hitting the woman and child who'd just stepped into the road without looking. “Daisy, do you have eyes?”

“The tracker's working...we're following her progress. Damn it. Coulson, she's left the road and headed into the mall. You can't follow her.”

Coulson was almost tempted to say he could if he tried, but SHIELD didn't need any more negative publicity and even an unmarked car following an Inhuman on a motorcycle through a shopping mall was not going to go unnoticed.

“All right, stand down. Monitor from base only.” He sighed and slowed to a stop at the corner of the road, next to a promising looking coffee shop. “Lunch?” he asked Mack.

“I'll get it,” Mack agreed, “I need the fresh air.”

Coulson nodded absently as Mack headed out of the car. It was becoming increasingly hard to remember why they were doing this, when so many of the Inhumans treated SHIELD with such suspicion. It didn't help that the Avengers seemed to be publicly disintegrating and Fury was still keeping radio silence so Coulson couldn't even find out what was really going on.

The car door opened and Coulson was about to say that Mack hadn't taken very long, when Clint slid into the seat next to him.

“Are you following me?” Coulson asked, regretting it immediately.

“Don't flatter yourself. I was following the Inhuman, you just got in the way.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean. I didn't mean anything.” Coulson remembered a time when he and Clint never found it hard to talk to each other. A lot of water had passed under a lot of bridges since then.

They both stared straight ahead. Coulson was afraid of what he might find in Clint's expression if he dared look at him closely. He didn't know what Clint was thinking.

“I'm sorry,” Coulson said, at least. Because he was and because it was easier than saying that he missed Clint. Missed what might have been.

He was aware of Clint nodding and then Mack was heading their way and Clint was disappearing into the crowd.

* * * ** *

“Clint asked after you,” Daisy said, after the briefing was over and the others had left to get some sleep.

Coulson, tired to the very core of his being, had difficulty taking this in. “What do you mean?”

Daisy pulled a chair over and sat down. “After we'd met with Liam and got him to the safe house, Clint was waiting by the van. He wanted to know how you were doing. He also wanted to know where the base was.”

Coulson nodded. “I expected as much. I'm surprised he hasn't....” The perimeter alarm sounded and Daisy and Coulson just looked at each other until Elena came into the room.

“Can you not hear that or something?” she asked.

Coulson leant over and hit a switch, silencing the alarm. “I'll deal with it.”

* * * * *

He found Clint sitting on the floor at the main entrance, texting on his phone. He looked up disinterestedly as Coulson arrived but Coulson knew better.

“No guards?”

“You're always welcome here,” Coulson replied.

Clint did look up at that, cool and assessing and Coulson tried not to flinch. “We need to talk.”

“I know. Do you, do you want to come in?”

Clint stood up, hefting his bag and bow over his shoulder. “I presume this place has an en suite?”

Coulson's lips twitched. “I have just the place.”

* * * * *

The rooms set aside for distinguished guests weren't really any different from the ones set aside for undistinguished guests, except that it had painted walls of warm blue rather than dull grey. Coulson watched Clint take this in and set his bow and bag down on top of the desk, the only furniture in the room aside from the double bed. Above the bed was a single photo depicting the Eiffel Tower.

“I suppose it makes a change from Cap's shield,” Clint said.

“That never gets old,” Coulson replied, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed and waiting for Clint to join him.

“So, talk,” Clint said.

“Where would you like me to start from?”

“How about explaining why you didn't tell me you were alive and then move on from there?”

Coulson sighed. “I thought it was for the best. I know I could – should – have told you when I realised what had happened, what Fury had done. But SHIELD fell, and then Hydra, and the Inhumans, and – I could barely think about that without, without other complications.”

“So you thought we'd just go back to being colleagues, and that would be it?” Clint asked, a dangerous growl to his voice.

Coulson frowned, confused. He did stop himself from pointing out that they were to all intents and purposes friends because he could sense that something had happened to make at least Clint feel differently.

“I -”

“Man,” Clint said, “I never took you for the kind of guy to kiss and then run off. Guess I had you pegged all wrong didn't I?” With that Clint stood up, shook his head in disgust, and left an extremely confused Coulson in his wake.

* * * * *

Daisy found Clint two hours later, sweat dripping down his back, every target in the firing range full of bullseyes so covered with arrow heads that they could no longer be clearly made out.

“Black Widow sent a message,” Daisy said and waited until Clint paused with his arm stretched to fire another arrow but he didn't turn around. “She says she can pick you up in twenty minutes.”

Clint let loose his arrow. Perfect bullseye yet again.

“Coulson would like to talk to you.”

“We've done our talking,” Clint replied.

“No we haven't,” Coulson said. He was standing in the doorway, glancing anxiously between Daisy and Clint.

“Yes, we have.”

“Daisy, do you mind?” Coulson asked and she nodded and ducked out, though not before giving Coulson a reassuring pat on the back.

“Nat'll be here soon.”

“She could come in for dinner, before you leave,” Coulson suggested.

“I think it best we just leave.”

“Clint, will you look at me? Please?”

Clint turned around, defiantly looking Coulson in the eye. He was wearing only a tight t-shirt now soaked with sweat and sticking to his body and Coulson had to remind himself to keep his gaze professional.

“What?”

“Could we sit?” Coulson asked and went to do just that, sitting carefully on one of the wooden benches at the back of the range. Clint watched him but made no move to join him. “All right. I – when did we kiss?” he asked, deciding to get straight to the point.

“Is this a joke?”

“No, Clint, it isn't. Just – I'm starting to understand but I just need you to – walk me through it.”

Clint narrowed his eyes and Coulson could practically see the inner workings of his mind, trying to judge whether Coulson was making fun of him (never) or had some plan up his sleeve that would eventually make sense (almost always).

“It was during Project Pegasus. You'd just come on the base from some secret project you weren't talking about it. But, you were obviously pretty down about it. I gave you the grand tour and we ended up in your rooms. We were sat talking on this awful yellow couch with half the springs missing and you just looked,” Clint unconsciously licked his lips, “you just looked so tired that I, I couldn't help but kiss you.”

“I thought it might have been something like that,” Coulson said, almost to himself.

“You thought? Why are you talking like you weren't there too?”

“Clint, I don't remember it. Wait,” he said, putting up his hand before Clint could begin arguing with him, “just wait. The mission before Project Pegasus, that was Project Tahiti. Fury didn't want me to remember about that so my memories were erased, and I see now some of the ones from Pegasus have gone too. It's all a bit of a blur now, but, mostly I just remember you radioing me to say Dr Selvig was getting agitated, and then, well, all hell broke loose.”

“You don't – Coulson that's – that's nearly six weeks. We were together for -” Clint moved over to Coulson and slowly sat down. “We were together for nearly six weeks, Phil.”

Coulson suddenly felt very old and very tired. “I had no idea.” He stared down at his shoes, not quite daring yet to look at Clint. No wonder Clint had been mad at him.

“Fury doesn't deserve one good eye,” Clint muttered under his breath and Coulson let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

Clint leaned over and took Coulson's chin in calloused fingers and moved his head so they were looking at each other. “I guess I owe you an apology.” Before Coulson could say that of course he didn't, Clint was kissing him.

Something sparked at the back of Coulson's brain, a familiarity, a purpose, a desire that was almost overwhelming. The groan seemed to build from deep within himself and then he was pulling a very willing Clint closer, deepening the kiss, remembering flashes of yellow, and heat and talented fingers that sent him over the edge more than once.

“How could I have forgotten this?” he asked.

“Not your fault,” Clint replied, pressing a kiss to Coulson's jaw. “Not your fault.”

It felt very much like his fault, but Coulson wasn't going to argue the matter. He'd just have to find a way to make it up to Clint.

* * * * * *

That night, after they'd explained everything to the team and Natasha and thereby avoided Coulson getting disembowelled, they lay in bed together, Clint almost asleep with his head pillowed on Coulson's chest, Coulson already making plans.

“We should go away for a while,” Coulson said. Clint bit back a yawn and mumbled his agreement. “No, I mean it Clint. We should.”

Clint had an unnerving habit of springing from sleep straight into wakefulness so within the blink of an eye he was sitting up and turning on the light.

“What do you mean go away?”

“I mean,” Coulson said, sitting up himself, “look at all the time we've lost. If I'd – if I'd known there is nothing that would have kept me away from you. From telling you I was alive, from telling the Avengers. From building something with you.” He had to stop there and take a deep breath. The more time he spent with Clint, the more little movements started reminding him of what they had been to each other. If he'd known that they'd acted on those feelings that had been bubbling under the surface for years, his life and that of everyone at SHIELD would be very different now.

“Hey, we don't need to make any rash decisions, Phil, not now.”

“I know,” Coulson said, smiling. “It doesn't have to be for long, I just think we need to get out of the game for a while. The world will cope without us looking out for it for a while. They've got plenty of other people to do that now. That's what Fury had in mind all along, after all.”

“I'm going to need you not to mention that man's name in bed again,” Clint said, only half-joking. “But it does sound nice. In fact...” He hesitated and chewed at his bottom lip for a moment. Coulson waited patiently for him to come to a decision about whether or not he was going to share. “In fact there's a farm I've been thinking of buying. It'll need some work but it's in a good area, there's plenty of land, we'd be pretty isolated but I don't think we'd mind that, would we?”

Coulson kissed him for answer, fingers scraping along Clint's neck and down his bare chest. “I think I like the sound of that very much,” Coulson said. “Sounds like we have our first vacation destination sorted.”

Clint grinned. “You're going to love it, I promise.”

Coulson nodded and then started kissing his way down Clint's body. He had no doubt that he would fall in love with anywhere that made Clint's eyes shine like that, but for the moment he was far more interested in making up for lost time.

Given the way that Clint's body yielded to his touch, he had the idea that Clint was just as keen to make some new memories as he was.


End file.
